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It’s not OK

It’s not OK

It’s not ok.  It’s never ok.

I started a blog last week.  My first two paragraphs:

I have just read yet another news article about a 24 year old mum of one, found dead in her home with her 5 year old daughter asleep in the next room, presumably (and hopefully) unaware of the terror and pain her mum went through as her life was brutally taken from her by an ex-partner.  

What is it with the outrageous amount of Domestic Abuse occurring in our country and what can we collectively white-ribbon-shadow2010take-the-pledge-for-fb-cop2ydo to end it?    

Now … I’m just bloody angry after reading a ‘breaking news’ article online this afternoon … in the “Popular or Trending Now” section.  This was the headline:

“Baby fighting for her life in Starship Hospital after an assault in Waitara”

We know the term, we read the statistics, we hear stories portrayed through the media … but sadly by the time these cases are “media worthy” another person (another woman or child the majority of the time) is a victim ~ critically injured or more commonly, dead.

I struggle … I physically and emotionally struggle every time I hear of, or read another story of abuse.

Domestic Abuse ain’t pretty.  It isn’t fair and it is not an easy place to escape from.  Physically or emotionally.  Flippant comments like “why didn’t she just leave?” are generally issued from someone with no first-hand experience and a complete lack of understanding as to what an abusive relationship looks or feels like.  These are generally the same people who so wrongly assume it is just a matter for the victim to lay a complaint, obtain a restraining or protection order and leave.  It’s just not that simple.

Domestic Abuse doesn’t necessarily just start one day out of the blue.  There is often a gradual build up, an escalation of annoyance, tension and a feeling that things just aren’t quite right in your relationship.  That gut instinct we have … that warning … please don’t ignore it.  And remember, abuse rears its ugly head in many forms.  Physical, Verbal, Emotional, Financial and Sexual.  The link between them?  Power and Control.

I have been emotionally stripped bare, down to the bone and felt like I was drowning in relationship hell.  My story is not unusual by any means but I had a defining moment where everything changed, clarity ensued and I rose above my fear to reclaim life.  By no means am I saying this is an easy process because it’s not.  It is scary, tumultuous and akin to attempting to tread water in an outgoing rip.

Domestic Abuse is not ok and I for one, no longer want to read the tragic headlines and stories.  Open the conversation with your family and friends – with those you know and love and keep that conversation alive.

It’s just not OK.

It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.

Macca ~ November 10th, 2015

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